24 years in this earth and yet I feel so old. I don’t feel like I’m 24- being as tired and hopeless as I am now, I feel a little younger than a dinosaur. Some people say they don’t regret anything that happened to them, I, on the other hand, regret so many that looking back at my life makes my shoulders ache and my heart cringe.
At 7, I wanted to be an author of a really important book. I wanted to write something that everyone will read and enjoy like a really juicy secret. I wanted to expose all the secrets in the world so no one could lie and everything will be out in the open.
At 8, I wanted to be a maid. I did not want to go to school and just enjoyed staying at home. The only person I knew who could do that without being nagged was the maid. Thus, I wanted to have the ticket that she did to stay at home and not be obligated to go to places and learn things I didn’t need.
At 9, I wanted to be a scientist. My tita was a biologist, a self-proclaimed scientist and she went to so many exotic places and brought home live crabs from dagupan that she hung on her double deck bed with pride.
At 10, I lost interest to be anything productive in society. I was so focused on making my mother and step-dad break-up that I let a few years of my childhood pass me by without a fight.
Today, I look back and realize all the opportunities I wasted and everything I will be wasting in the future if I do not find my firm footing in this crazy race. At 24, I still do not know what to do with myself. I fear that I will enter my mid-life crisis still with an identity crisis. How pathetic.
I can just imagine how many in my generation feel the same way. I feel sorry for all that life wasted.
No comments:
Post a Comment